Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Learning to celebrate all that I am versus all that I'm not

I finished high school when I was seventeen and although the local phone company was hiring a ton of administrators at the time (you had to type 50 wpm and I could type 60 easy) they hired me as... a long distance operator.

I know! I was as stunned as you are, though later I realized I got the job because 1) no one actually ever applied for it so they were always short staffed, and 2) I mentioned on my resume that I had experience operating a hotel switchboard from a part-time job I'd had in high school.

I learned a ton about myself in that job though (how I hate shift work, that I love listening in on other people's conversations, that I like working in my pajamas.) Don't misunderstand, I really hated the job, I'm just saying it wasn't a total waste, that's all.

Life progressed from there... I said I'd never get married, and then I did. I swore up and down I'd never have kids, but if I were stupid enough to change my mind, I'd have one, a little girl I'd name Sawyer, and I still wouldn't get married.

Today, I'm a perfectionist, my own worst critic, and I often get down on myself about all that I'm not and everything I haven't achieved with my life. Pointless, isn't it? I mean, a bus could flatten me tomorrow and then what would any of it matter? So... I've decided 2009 is going to be the year where I celebrate all that I am vs. all that I'm not (yes, I know it's a little late to be talking new year's resolutions, but humor me -- these days it seems I'm late with everything.)

Okay... I'll never be a size two, nor will I ever have long, flowing auburn hair, and I couldn't sing if my life depended on it. However, I'm a giving person and a loyal friend. I love my kids (two boys I said I'd never have) and my husband (who I've been with for 20 years) and I like to think that long distance operator gig had something to do with me becoming an author, because I did manage to find a job where I can work in my pajamas!

21 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

I enjoyed reading a little bit more about what makes you, you.

Stephen Parrish said...

Ditto what Travis said. Fortunately dress size, hair color, and singing ability are wholly unnecessary to a writer.

Holly Kennedy said...

Re: your comments above, thank you, gentlemen. You made me smile, which made my day.

Melissa Marsh said...

Brilliant post. I have had those moments where I look at my life and think, "How did THIS happen? It wasn't SUPPOSED to happen." I am a firm believer, though, that everything happens for a reason. I'm pretty happy with where I'm at.
:-)

Ramona said...

Great post. I agree with Travis/Stephen. Really really like reading about the more personal side of you. Carry on!!

kyla-dale said...

A long distance operator?!! lol
That's hilarious. Fun post!

Adam said...

I planned to marry Julia Roberts.
Never happened.

Life's like that sometimes.

Cindy said...

I totally agree with you Holly, I never thought I'd be single, living on my own, but I am. I've decided to just deal with who I am and what I have.

I'll never have blonde hair and blue eyes like the rest of the family and I'll never be skinny like my mom and my sister. I've learned to deal with that.

I've decided to do like you, be happy with what I've got not what I don't have and work on stuff I have control over.

JKB said...

I agree with Stephen and Travis. I think all those horrible jobs when we were younger serve as book fodder now, anyways.

And you can still do the single most important thing on your list - get a SPHYNX CAT.

XO from JKB :)

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the the best thing of all about that job as a long distance operator...You got to meet me!
Lots of fond memories from those days.
Donna

Katie Alender said...

Sometimes I have to remind myself that no matter what the current batch of negatives are in my life, there are always way more positives.

Holly Kennedy said...

Donna -- lol **
I had that in there but it made the post too long so I yanked it out. Thought I'd use this post as a test to draw you out of the lurking shadows!

UPDATE: Okay...Yes, another benefit from the job was meeting Donna, also a long distance operator, and still a friend today

Patti said...

Everything happens for a reason, even if you can't see it at the time. I think bad experiences are designed to give you something to talk about at parties.

Victoria said...

Such a fun post.

And so true, how life never delivers what we want it to.

Dawn Anon said...

Thank you for sharing! I agree with Travis and Stephen.

jessie said...

Who is REALLY a size two anyway?

Heidi the Hick said...

I suspect that most people who claim to be size 2 are either lying or exaggerating. And I'm a size 4 so I know these things.

But YOU are adorable looking so there is no worry.

Guess what? I am working in my jammies right now too! It's a good life eh?

Wendy Roberts said...

Good for you! Celebrating all you are is a wonderful attitude but, um, stay away from those author-flattening buses, k?

Stephe said...

I mean, a bus could flatten me tomorrow and then what would any of it matter? So... I've decided 2009 is going to be the year where I celebrate all that I am vs. all that I'm not...

Yes! You go, Holly!

ORION said...

I am typing this in MY pajamas right now AND I totally get what Holly is saying. I've pretty much given up that dream of being a combination runway model/super spy/ brain surgeon...and Tooloose is never going to be best-of-show at the world cat challenge...

Kathryn Magendie said...

Dang - I want long flowing hair too! *sigh* -- I even dream I have long thick hair sometimes...ah well....