Juggling priorities

Ask any author with a family and I'll bet "huge swaths of uninterrupted writing time" will be at the top of his/her wish list. It's a luxury we dream of the way others dream of shopping until they drop. I know it won't be like this forever, but these days I have more stops and starts than I care to count. Here's a sample of this week's juggling act:

Front door slams and I hear someone howling in the distance. My oldest runs down to my desk, attempting to look casual. "Uh, Mom? How do you know if someone broke their arm or if it's just, like, sprained?"

My youngest phoning from school to say, "I found my field trip form in my locker but it's due today so if you don't come to the school and sign it the teacher says I can't go."

And let's not forget these:

"That wasn't a gunshot, it was Dad, backing over my basketball."
"Mom? Will grape juice leave a permanent stain if it's spilled on a rug?"
"There's a lady at the door who wants money for blind people."
"Can you help me study for my exams?"

Then, late last night when I was working on chapter 16, having success with a dialogue piece I'd previously had trouble with, my youngest came downstairs and curled up in the armchair across from my desk. He was having trouble sleeping, a by-product of Tourette Syndrome. "Mom, have you got a minute?" he asked.

We talked for an hour - about things he's been worried about, about dreams he's never shared with me before - and when he finally went to bed, I turned off my computer and called it a night, thinking, You will never pass this way again. The rest can wait.

How to LOVE a good book

When I read, I'm constantly analyzing and trying to learn from my betters. Armed with a pen, a highlighter and post-it notes, pages are unceremoniously folded and comments are often scribbled in the margins (about the story's arc, the narrative drive, character development). I slap post-it notes on pages I admire, noting a great piece of dialogue, a scene that moved me, a well-crafted subplot, the author's ability to set a certain tone or foreshadow, etc.

When I'm done, the pages are often dirty and the book looks like it's been through a bad storm. Some people would cringe if they saw my collection of books, but to me they looked 'loved to death' which is a compliment to the authors who wrote them, wouldn't you agree?

The tug of a perfect love affair

Like many of you, we've had company over the last week. Lots of food and conversation, stories and catching up. Christmas morning, I felt a pinch inside watching my boys unwrap gifts that reflect how much they've grown, how fast they've gone from believing in Santa and unwrapping Batman action figures to getting a weight bench or a laptop as their one big gift. It's been great, yet through all of the noise and activity (skating, walks to the river, some of them running 7 km into town and the rest of us meeting them at a coffee shop) a restlessness began to take hold. My mind started to wander and I'd catch myself drifting away from what everyone else was saying.

Yesterday, my husband whispered, "You want to go work on your book, don't you?"

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, and he smiled and said, "To me it is."

Today, a group went snowboarding and won't be home until tomorrow. The rest left to visit relatives and won't return until Thursday. Which leaves me alone, at my desk, writing. And as I do, I realize now more than ever that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I was meant to do -- which is what I wish for each of you in the year ahead, the perfect love affair between what you most desire and what you were meant to do.

Happy New Year readers, writers and bloggers!

The task of compartmentalizing

You know those slippery mercury balls inside old-style thermometers? How impossible they are to catch and hold onto? That's how hard I find it to compartmentalize. I'm a good multi-tasker and I'm organized, but for the most part everything else in my life bleeds together, which can be exhausting.

Is it a male thing? (every guy I know seems to be good at it) Or is it personality driven? Either way, I'm bad at it. Example: I hate watching the news, because if there's been a catastrophe somewhere (a shooting, a kidnapped child, a fire) it'll stay in the periphery of my thoughts for days afterward, upsetting me.

I like this explanation: a fellow author (who's published a dozen novels, half of them NYT bestsellers) told me she believes most writers feel things at a different level, that we have the ability to examine all the events around us in a camera-like fashion, record them in our subconscious with startling detail, and can then effectively draw them out (along with the emotions associated with each event) when we're writing.

Sounds plausible, but I think it's also a personality driven trait.
What about you?

Writing can feel like this (parenting, too)

Metaphorically, I've been busy attempting to thread needles, both with my writing and parenting -- neither an easy task.

Often, I'll spend hours working on a scene and no matter what I put on the page I'm not happy with it. When this happens, I'll put it away and move on to a different scene (time and distance can be remarkable tools). However, there are also times when I'll push back my chair and simply ... stop, knowing that I've accomplished what I'd hoped to and that tinkering with it won't make it any better. And of course it's these moments that make all the long hours worthwhile, moments akin to successfully threading a needle. In the dark. With your hands shaking from lack of sleep.

Dramatic metaphor aside (because writing is hard and I feel it's only fair to represent it that way) I did manage to write two needle-and-thread scenes this week that saved me from deleting four others that have been frustrating me.

Similarly, the ups and downs continue on the parenting front... Like my youngest, who volunteered me for a field trip without my knowledge, tracing my signature off a writing contract (a shout-out for attention, don't you think?).

And then there's my 12 yr old who, for the first time (and I'm sure it won't be the last) yelled, "You don't understand me!" signalling the arrival of that slippery slide into a world filled with teen angst and miscommunication. The same kid who hugged me hours later and whispered, "You and me? Buddies for life," the way he used to when he was five and our days were often peppered with needle and thread moments.

Lunch time musings

At lunch yesterday, I overheard an old guy at the table next to me tell the woman he was with that he had no regrets in his life -- not one. Maybe it was my mood, but I felt like swiveling around and calling him on it. Interesting as that sounds, how can it be true? How is it that he managed to maneuver through life and not have a few regrets?

Of course, he was probably posturing, if not for his lunch companion's benefit, maybe for his own. Regret is, after all, an intensely personal issue, one I believe the average person doesn't talk about with just anyone because it makes them feel vulnerable, and no one wants to voluntarily crawl out on that limb, right?

He smiled at me as he left and I smiled back, thinking about the novel I'm working on, knowing that if I want readers to fall in love with the story, as they do with any good story, I'll need to make sure they feel my main character has made them privvy to everything in his life, including the most personal regrets he'd never share with anyone else -- maybe even a few he's had trouble admitting to himself.

The weight of a good chapter

I spoke with a book club from Sacramento last night, a group who took the time to read all three of my novels before setting up the call with me. (How great is that!? Thanks again, guys!) One woman asked what I aspire to achieve each day when I sit down at my computer. "And please don't say you aspire to write a bestseller," she added, "because for any author that's a given. Tell us what you hope to achieve day by day."

That's easy. You know what it's like when you're reading a good book and you're tired and you think, "I'll just finish this chapter and then I'll turn off the light" but then you can't help yourself so you read the opening of the next chapter and... ooomph... you get sucked right back in?

There. That's what I aspire for each day (which is, of course, what every author aims for.) To have readers so invested in the weight of the chapter I'm working on that they can't stop reading, which of course means working on a story so compelling each chapter feels like its own rich little book. I'm not saying I've managed to achieve this with every chapter I've ever written, but it is what I aim for each day as I continue to grow as an author.

I have this crazy dream...

I've been given 90 days of solitary writing time and I get to choose where I spend them (this is one of my favorite fantasies, so humor me.)

Here's how my dream would go... I'd get paddled out to a tiny island carrying a laptop that operates on solar power. I'd be wearing sandals and island attire that would stay clean and unwrinkled the entire time I'm there (again, humor me; if I'm allowed to choose where I do this writing stint, I figure I'll drop kick a few other realities onto the other side of logic too.)
I'd bring a hammock, and my meals (including shots of espresso) would be delivered by the nice man who paddled me over to my tiny island. There'd be no phone, no family, no pets. Just me and the story for 90 days. This might not be everyone's heaven on earth, but it'd be mine -- just once. And no, you can't come with me. Find your own tiny island!

How do you write a novel? Simple. Line up your story like this...

I received an email yesterday from an aspiring author. He said he finds the process of writing a novel overwhelming (join the club). He said it's difficult to stay focused on the same story and the same set of characters and the same sub-plots for as long as it takes to write 400 pages (I couldn't agree more). He said "it's hard" and I nodded with sympathy. It is. It's very hard.

For close to a year, I've spent countless hours writing and editing and cutting and smoothing to make The Silver Compass come together and line up like a string of slick dominoes. Current day story must be supported by back story and back story must transition smoothly back into current day story. Secondary characters must move the plot forward, walk-ons are necessary but you can't have too many. Dialogue must be realistic. Scenes should have dramatic tension. Watch you POV shifts. Make readers care about your main character and his/her story. It'd also be good if you can make them laugh and/or cry at some point. Keep in mind, the first page sells the book, the last page sells the next book and on and on...

Yes, it is hard, but don't give up, because after it gets written and it all comes together, and it's been buffed and polished to a shine, there's no better feeling in the world. When I get that feeling, before I begin obsessing over changing 'just one more thing' that's when I quickly hand it over to production, dust off my hands and say, "It's just a book. There'll be many more." It's the only way I can stay sane doing this for a living.

My swiss cheese method of writing...

I often get email from fellow writers but the bulk of them come from readers. To me, there's no higher compliment than having someone read my work and then take the time to send me a note. I always reply, however, depending what I have on my plate, I'm not always speedy about it. Given this, I decided to answer two reader questions on my blog that
I haven't had time to on email.

Do you find it hard coming up with story ideas?
No, ideas are the easy part. It's the writing that's hard.
(ie., I've had three fully formed novels percolating in the back
of mind for a few years now. I just need time to write them).
So far, I haven't had trouble thinking up story ideas, probably because I have an overactive imagination. (ie., When I pull up
to a red light, I almost can't help it anymore; my mind just takes over as I make up stories about the people in the next vehicle. You know... The bald driver is a hen-pecked alcoholic; his wife, sitting next to him, is having an affair with her boss; and their teenage son slumped in the back seat just secretly robbed a grocery store six hours ago. Then -- BOOM -- the light goes green. That sort of thing).

Do you write sequentially?
Almost never, but I do work from a detailed synopsis that lays the story out in advance. My 'writing method' isn't quite so linear, though. Every writer is different, but here's what's
works best for me:

I can't do anything until the first chapter is written (which means I'm the sort of writer who needs to know exactly where the story begins before I do anything else). Then, after the 1st chapter is written, I write the last chapter, which I always know in advance. Following that, I write the turning point, where the main character makes a choice that sends the story in a new direction or something unexpected happens that forces it in a new direction. Next, I write all of the 'big scenes' including anything I wouldn't show my mother. Then I go back to the beginning and start writing the general flow of the story, including the development of sub-plots, the introduction of secondary and/or walk-on characters who help move the story to its conclusion, as well as any bridging that needs to be done between chapters.

And when I'm done, I've got my first draft, with only 3 or 4 or 5 complete rewrites to go!!

The possibilities are endless...

I found a set of keys while I was walking today. The tip of one was sticking up on the edge of a trail, so I poked at it with my foot. They aren't car keys or house keys. They're old and rusty and belong to something else.
Walking home, I wondered if they were meant to open something that’s no longer nearby or if it's still here, in my neighborhood -- maybe hidden in the far corner of someone's crawl space under their house, or above a warped ceiling tile in someone's basement, or better yet, buried thirty paces from someone’s back door under a menacing gargoyle that watches over their garden.

Then I started wondering what might be inside whatever these keys opened? A box of letters from someone’s lover? A long lost will that could tear a family apart? A map to a hidden grave? (Maybe Jimmy Hoffa’s! Wouldn’t Canada have been a good place to hide his body?) Or was it something even more enigmatic, like a wedding veil, five seashells, and a brass whistle?

I’ll never know what they open or who they belong to, but they’ve already unleashed a barrage of creative ideas in my mind and I’ve only had them one day. Maybe a future novel will be built around these keys. Or maybe they'll be the source of a chapter in my current novel. I’m not sure, but for now I've tucked them away in my mini-aluminum garbage can labeled STORY IDEAS even though it's already crammed full with paper and pictures and nick knacks that probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else (unless you're a writer!)

Yes, officer, that’s my brother...

Friends, family, and readers often ask why The Tin Box is found under "K" for Kennedy in book stores instead of face-out on those Hot Fiction or New Fiction displays done up at the front of every store.

It's because this is called "premier shelf placement" and I don’t get it. At least, not yet, anyhow!

Front-of-store placement must be paid for, whether its face-out positioning on promotional stands, end caps, new release tables in the front of the store, or placement in airport book stores. For those of you interested in more information on this, check out the following post at bigbadbookblog.com where it’s explained in detail.

That said, I couldn't resist posting today about my brother, who doesn’t care that I don’t get premier shelf placement. All he knows is when he walks into a book store (in any city, on any given day) he thinks my books should be face-out under Hot Fiction or else on a table reserved for bestsellers.

So he moves them.

All of them.

There are times when he’s sly about it, glancing furtively over his shoulder to make sure no one’s watching. But there are others when he simply grabs half a dozen and moves them, offering no explanation to the staff watching as he does so. Often, smiling charismatically, he tells them they should be doing it. “Now here's a good writer,” he’ll say. “She not a bestseller yet, but she’s gonna be!"

And then there are also times when he… lurks.

Picture this: A woman stands in front of the Hot Fiction display in a book store, frowning. My brother, who is married, but bored because his wife has left him alone for ten minutes, sidles up to her. “Looking for a good book?” he asks. “Actually, I am,” she admits. And then — PRESTO — he whips out a copy of my book and hands it to her. “You’re gonna love it,” he says. “Read it and tell all your friends.”

And so it goes.

Me, telling him to stop, and him, ignoring me as he becomes intimately acquainted with every bookstore within a hundred miles. Not that he limits himself to local bookstores, by the way, because even when he travels (as he’s doing this week) he often phones to tell me he’s been busy “promoting me” which is when my neck starts to itch and I find myself scratching my arms, breaking out in a nervous rash.

I just know the phone’s going to ring one day and it’ll be the "book police" who've given him a quarter and allowed him one phone call, and that’s when I’ll have to decide if I’m going to bail him out, or pretend I haven't got a clue who this guy is.