Tuesday, September 16, 2008

In defense of the sloth

Someone's been brainwashing my nine-year old. Either that or they're slipping him a concoction that's changing his sweet natured self into a seasoned mouth piece.

Let's cut to yesterday. My husband's been traveling a lot on business again (last week he was in Zurich) which means I'm in single-parent mode. Anyhow, I forgot to sign a form for my son's teacher, and when he got home he was so upset he started in on all the other things I've not been doing well. No need going over his list, right? Let's just say it made no sense and here's where our discussion ended up...

"And what about last Saturday?" he said, citing yet another example. "God, Mom, you slept in until 9:30?! Are you related to Sid the Sloth? (for those unfamiliar, he was referring to a character in Ice Age.) Other mom's in the neighborhood don't sleep in that late!"

Instead of saying, "No, they don't, but they also aren't awake writing their butts off until 1:45 a.m., either," I just smiled all zen-like and said, "Actually, I like sloths" which only incensed him more. There was pause where he glared at me, followed by, "Well you aren't doing a very good job these days so maybe you should think about that."

Which was when I lowered myself to his level and said, "Look, it's not like I applied for the job fully qualified, okay?"

"I don't think they would've hired you if you had," he shot back.

Pleasant little household anecdote, hmmm? I've noticed, however, this same pattern repeating itself every fall when my kids go back to school and my writing rises to the top of my priority list. It's a big adjustment (for all of us.)

P.S. I really do love sloths. I've had this adorable stuffed sloth on my desk for five years now and he always makes me smile.
Hoo-rah to all the sloths out there!

25 comments:

Mystery Robin said...

ROFL! That's what you get for giving birth to such bright, witty little things.

You can only hope his children are equally bright and incenced. ;)

I'm single parenting it this week, too. My hubby is only four hours away, but at bedtime, it might as well be Mars. Let's just say the kids recognize that mama's patience is running veeeeery thin.

Janet said...

Ask him to put it in writing, dated and signed, how much he hates it when you sleep in until 9:30. (That's sleeping in?) Use it as blackmail in a few short years when he's a teenager.

Holly Kennedy said...

Ooooh, Mystery Robin, you so nailed it!! "My hubby is only four hours away, but at bedtime it might as well be Mars."

Well put.
And very apt.

Holly Kennedy said...

You know, Janet, I think I'm going to do exactly that!

P.S. I thought this wasn't supposed to START until they became teenagers.

Adam said...

Maybe he had a bad day at school.
(A guy's gotta stand up for one of his own, whether 9 or 9, you know?)

However...9:30 sure don't seem like sleeping in to me!

Adam said...

re: above I meant to say 9 or 90

Ramona said...

LOL -- I LOVE your bratty kid posts. They never fail to make me laugh. Funny, but snarky, lil shit, hmmm?

kyla-dale said...

Here's an idea.
Short sheet his bed
when he's sleeping!!!

Victoria said...

Let me tell you, that is so not sleeping in. Your son is sadly misinformed. If he were at my house Saturday mornings he'd think I was dead *lol*

Janet said...

Kids don't read the parenting books. They do things on their own schedules.

Saturday was always official sleeping in day at our place. Nobody got hassled before noon.

You could try bribing them. If they stay quiet until a certain time and do a chore or two, they get a reward. That's just a suggestion off the top of my head. You'll have to figure if it would work with your own kids.

Or you could make another deal. If he promises not to compare you to the other moms, you'll promise not to compare him to the other kids. If he's reluctant, dish him up a good helping of "Why aren't you like Jimmy down the street who..."

Sorry. Giving unsolicited advice is one of those indulgences of empty nesters. But I've got a boomerang heading my way and I might be tearing my own hair out pretty soon.

laughingwolf said...

thx, appreciate all the sloth stuff i can get... or is that procrastination stuff? :O lol

what janet sez...

the tin box was excellent, had me blubbering often....

Dawn Anon said...

Janet! where were you when my kids were 9ish? That's a wonderful idea!


Holly....hahaha.... gotta love 'em

ORION said...

I think you should be on probation...if this occurs again send you off to a small room all by yourself...er...um nevermind...

Nadine said...

Oh, my! And everyone wonders why I'm so on the fence when it comes to having a houseful of my own lil rug rats -- they TERRIFY me!!

Therese said...

Ha! I sometimes still get this kind of stuff from my oldest (who's 18) when he's short of sleep or in denial about something.

You just want to smack 'em. :)

Janet said...

Nadine, stop and look at the face of a daddy as he crouches down, spreads his arms and his three-year-old daughter bounces down the sidewalk toward him. Then you start getting a feel of some of the rewards of children. Or I watch my husband with one of our grown sons, standing in the kitchen and thrashing through political science and theology and history (they are having a ball!) and I see another reward. That stuff is priceless.

We've had two direct apologies from grown children for their adolescent behaviour (one literally sobbing) and indirect acknowledgement in other cases that they weren't perhaps entirely justified all the time. ;o) So the smart mouth talk is not the last word.

Like any love relationship, you open yourself up to hurt, it's true. But you also open yourself up to some pretty glorious, wonderful stuff.

Holly Kennedy said...

Janet -- I helped raise my stepchildren (she's now 29 and he's 25) so I appreciate what you're saying. As it stands, I'm now in the midst of raising my "second set" of kids. I got involved with the "first set" when they were 5 and 8.

P.S. I swore I'd never get married and yet... I also swore I'd never EVER have kids and yet...

Never say never.

The best gifts are typically those we don't see as gifts until much later.

Holly Kennedy said...

Not that I mean to lecture, Nadine! If you don't want kids, don't have them. I just personally can't imagine my world with them, mouthy or not.

Angie Ledbetter said...

When my teens don't think I'm "doing a good job," I have several costumes I to choose from (big old me in full elf regalia, Santa, cupid, the school mascot...)and make a visit to campus to visit them & friends!

If the accusations get too out of hand, I give them the name of CPS (which I have memorized) and remind them how much I'd love a vacation. Usually does the trick. mwahahahaha

Angie Ledbetter said...

Eeek, I must need some caffeine! ...several costumes *to* choose from... AND ...give them the *number* of CPS...

Sheesh, maybe my kids are right. LOL

Holly Kennedy said...

Therese -- yup! Makes you wanna reach over and give him one upside the head some days, that's for sure.

Angie -- what a great idea! Dressing up to humiliate them :)
Must remember that one.

wordman17 said...

I used to act like a real shit with my parents (or so they tell me -- I recall nothing!)

Melissa Marsh said...

Ahhh...aren't children great? Fortunately, my daughter likes to sleep in just as much as I do and stay up as late as I do! :-)

Katie Alender said...

My only possible response is, "Oh, snap!"

I remember my bratty little self--that's why I'm afraid to have kids. You know, in case the universe is keeping score.

Demon Hunter said...

Well, I don't have kids yet and I sleep waaay past that...lol. :-)